Ode to Celery

Oh Celery, how I hate thee.
Truthfully, I must admit,
You’re a green cellulose tree
Tasting worse than spit.

Ants on a Log

Seriously, you taste like dirty water!
Eau de cholera and dirt.
In soups, you taste even worse hotter!
Sorry to be so curt.

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Don’t even get me started on your “crunch,”
I could eat you with hummus or dip,
But I’d rather not have you for lunch,
As you’re the one veggie I’d rather just skip.

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Picking your fibrous strings out of my tooth,
Gee, thanks, I really wanted to floss.
And Celery, to tell the truth,
Trying to eat you makes me quite cross.

hellery

Not a simple bite, but a rip and a tear,
Trying to chew is like gnawing on a bone.
Gritting my teeth against your stringy plant hair,
Your texture makes me groan.

twice as much suck

You’re worse than a log, cellulose tree!
People have to cover you with ants,
But even the ants try to flee.
Proof that you’re the worst of the plants.

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2 thoughts on “Ode to Celery

  1. Pingback: Thin Waistlines on a Thin Budget: Tips for Healthy Eating on a Budget | Eat. Tone. Love.

  2. Pingback: Snickity Snacks: Nika’s Favorite Gluten-Free, Vegan Snacks | Eat. Tone. Love.

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